The Difference Between

In Shadows and Light on January 23, 2011 at 2:02 am

           I was that far in, I was in the horrors, I actually preferred to think she didn’t WANT to see me, than think she had gone. I mean, you can change what someone WANTS, maybe, but you can’t change whether they are THERE or not. So when I realised she just didn’t want to see me, I was delighted, and decided that just in case I had to see her quick and change her mind before Us just faded away and she got into something new.

           So one night, about three weeks after the job, I did something earthshakingly sad+stupid, I shaved my hair down to a number one, bought shades and went and hung around Filthy MacNasty’s for half a whole evening, in case Suzy turned up.

           Thank Christ she didn’t, and see me there, doing that, maybe blowing everything out of sheer pathetic impatience. Pathetic, because all impatience is pathetic, if you are impatient it means you don’t trust the future, you are scared of missing the boat, and you can be so scared of losing something that you never actually get it.

         What are the three differences between a supermodel and a centrefold? Patience, patience and patience.

–Excerpt from A White Merc With Fins by James Hawe.

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