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Archive for 2012|Yearly archive page

Sto’s Words

In Interview on December 31, 2012 at 12:07 pm

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During one of the first days of staying in New York last summer, I explored Williamsburg, stopping at Roebling Tea Lounge and luckily, Cinders Gallery. I say luckily because not too long after that time, Sto and Kelie, who had created the space, had to give up having a physical space in Brooklyn, which led them to the opportunity of being mobile and taking their art and the spirit and goals of Cinders any place in the country or world they’d like. Here are Sto’s words on the past, present and future of Cinders Gallery.

Hello, Sto! What are you currently working on, personally and for the organization?

Right now I’m working on SATURN DOGS, which is a sci-fi dance noise performance piece involving costumes and homemade instruments. We will be performing in January and hope to have a recording done in the next month or so. The record is gonna be called ‘Blu Pu’. With Cinders, I’m working on our website all the time and trying to get our huge inventory of art up online for people to see it and be able to purchase it. Also, applying for some grants and trying to plan 2013.

How did Cinders begin? What inspirations would you say helped the project take shape?

We simply wanted something that oddly wasn’t there in an art metropolis like NYC-a friendly alternative art space that showed the art we were interested in. So we started it ourselves, even though we didn’t know a thing about running a gallery. But we did have amazingly talented friends that showed their art with us and inspired us to keep it going.

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Can you tell me a bit about yourself and your co-owner/co-starter? What’s something you’ve learned from Kelie?

Well, we kind of grew up together in that mid 20s-30s period of one’s life. We met at a BBQ in Brooklyn in 2002. She mentioned a traveling art circus that she was in and I realized that I had actually seen her perform back in Virginia. I was smitten. We began collaborating on art, then decided to start a gallery. Then her house burned down and we both moved into the storefront that became Cinders, hence the name. We went through a lot of crazy stuff together over the years. I learned so much from Kelie, she is one of the hardest working people I know. I learned to not let anything stop me no matter the odds. And she got me to start eating sushi when I was a vegetarian. Now I can’t stop.
 
What have your five favorite moments been since you began in 2004?

Uhh, it’s hard to pick. The very first day we opened was so rad and pretty cute looking back on it. The summer we had the Porch Show was amazing. We built a porch inside the gallery as part of a group show and had bands play on it. It was exciting to go to Japan to do a Cinders show there and have people know about us and be super excited. We had a Prom Party once during Maya Hayuk’s show where people dressed up and took prom photos in this psychedelic plant scene and we all danced like we were in a John Hughes film. The FUNeral, which was the closing of our original space was incredible too, such an outpouring of awesome human beings coming to pay respects to what we built was so touching.

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I understand rent became too high for you to continue to house Cinders in your Williamsburg space– what has an advantage been to the changes that have taken place since then?

We have realized that Cinders is not just a physical space, it’s a community, an aesthetic, an idea, a feeling. The Williamsburg space we had was a specific time and place, the neighborhood is much different now, and we can’t recreate that so we must move on and adapt. Plus, it’s good to spread the love to other cities, countries, planets…. its been liberating.

What is something you hope for Cinders in the next year?

I hope that we get to do the things we have been planning for.

How about five years?

I’m not sure. That may be too far in the future for me to think about…

What has Cinders got up its sleeve in the beginning of the coming new year?

We are curating a print show in February at our sister space, FLA Gallery, down in Gainesville, Florida. Kelie is living down there full-time now and running FLA Gallery with another Cinders artist, John Orth. Right after that, we are heading to Santiago, Chile to paint some murals for a music festival and then do an exhibition there with some Chilean artists. Psyched about that!

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What can you be seen doing when you’re not working on Cinders projects?

Playing music. Painting on paper and walls and clothes. Trying to build instruments. Baking gluten-free breads. Making big soups. It’s winter time, ya know?

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What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned?

That you gotta keep on keepin’ on.

What’s something that working on Cinders has taught you?

It’s important to do it yourself because no one else is gonna do it for you.

What’s the best place you’ve ever visited? Share a brief story from that place/trip, pretty please?

Well, I just came back from a Saturn Dogs tour in Europe and we spent a couple weeks driving through France, which was beautiful. Passing through little old villages, eating amazing cheeses and escargot and playing squats and rock clubs at art schools. We went to this one place called Palais Ideal, which was this super insane palace made by a postman who brought home stones on his daily route to make it with. It took him 33 years to build and is one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. Straight outta a Tim Burton film. I thought, ‘What have I been doing? I gotta start building my ideal palace man….’

Finish these sentences:

New York is…intense.
New York is not…the center of the world.
Cinders is…in my heart.
I am always looking for…inspiration.
I would love to…go to space.

David’s Words

In Interview on December 18, 2012 at 6:38 pm

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This is David Litchfield. He’s a super swell illustrator and fellow from Bedford, England. Litchfield was the first artist to send his finished ‘Say Anything Project’ piece back to me. ‘Do Better’ had enough energy to match the song it was inspired by, Say Anything’s ‘Do Better’. I invite you to read his words and wisdom and am sure you’ll end up admiring him as much as I do.

Hello David! How are you?
 
I’m fine and dandy, thank you. It’s been a crazy, busy year in many, many ways. So, I’m looking forward to Christmas and having a bit of a break.
 
Do you often reflect on the ‘A Drawing A Day’ Project, and what role do you think it played in getting you where you are today?
 
My ‘A Drawing A Day’ project has been helpful in a number of ways. It was supposed to be a very small, private project to help me improve as an illustrator but soon turned into a pretty big deal. I’m pleased because it got a bit of notice from galleries and magazines and built an online following. I am quite keen to move on from it now as some of the drawings are quite ‘ropey’. It’s quite nice that now people find out about me from other things like the Rue Royale drawings or the Beano.

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What’s the oddest place you’ve ever doodled because you didn’t have a notebook handy? 
 
Oh goodness, anywhere really. Sometimes I do it without realizing. When I was younger, our telephone was in the kitchen at our house, so when I was on the phone chatting to people I would doodle on the walls. It pissed my mum off so much, but I really didn’t know I was doing it.

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Do you ever approach folks/organizations about illustrating for them, or do others do the approaching? 
 
No, I do need to get better at that to be honest. Most of the commissions I have had so far have been from people contacting me.
 
Who or what organization do you aspire to create something for?
 
Nobrow books produce some of the best illustrated books around. I would love to take a project to them. This year I have fulfilled two ambitions by illustrating for The Beano and Anorak magazine. But, to be honest, I admire people who create their own industry and their own worlds. Maurice Sendak, Hayao Miyazaki, Jim Henson and Sylvain Chomet are all heroes who created their own universes to work in. Maybe one day I can do that too.
 
What has been the most difficult part of starting a career in illustration? 
 
I’m still very much learning about the industry of illustration and how it works. Sending a drawing off to a client and waiting to hear what they think can be horrible. I really panic that they are going to hate it. Working out how much to charge for an illustration is still something I have not figured out. In fact, the whole concept of getting paid to draw is something I still very much have not got my head around. Being paid to draw. That’s just absolutely mental.
 
Another scary thing is working out when and how to take that plunge into being a full-time freelance illustrator. I’m still only part-time. One day soon I will make the leap, but not yet. I’m not sure I’m ready yet. x

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Three things illustration has taught you:
 
1. Focus on something you love doing.
 
2. Focus on something you are good at.
 
3. Keep your pencils sharp.
 
 
Three things fatherhood has taught you:
 
1. I can get by on very little sleep.
 
2. I can draw, paint, write an email and open a bottle with just one hand.
 
3. There are more important things in life than drawing.
 
What are some things you hope to teach your son, Benjamin? 
 
I can’t wait to teach him how to draw. I also want to teach him how to play the guitar and his mum is going to teach him how to play the piano. He may not want to do any of these things but we are going to try anyway. It’s been so exciting watching him grow and learn so far (He’s only 6 months, so still pretty brand new).
 
What place would you like to visit the most?
 
I visited New York last year for the first time which has been a life-long ambition. I spent the first few days just being super overwhelmed by it all, but soon settled down and loved it. Can’t wait to go back there. Other than that, I want to go to Canada and see my friend, Steven Kraan.
 
Can you tell a story that took place during a trip/vacation you took?
 
When we were in New York we went to see ‘Le Cage aux Folles’ on Broadway. After the show we managed to blag our way into the backstage area and met the old lady from ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ who was hanging around. She looked a lot like Yoda.
 
 
What are some of your favorite places to frequent where you live in Bedford?
 
Bedford has a number of great little places actually. The Embankment Pub on the River Ouse is lovely. There are great coffee places too, such as Hurpers Coffee and Freds. Myself and the writer Neil Fox go to Fred’s regularly to chat about our graphic novel idea. There’s a great little art scene building up around here too with lots of pop up galleries and events happening. It used to be that artists and musicians would be chased out of town by the hoodies, but recently we’ve decided to stand up for ourselves and be arty and proud.
 
What’s something you’d like to accomplish outside of illustration?
 
I want to be a good dad. I want to lose weight. I want to learn to drive. I want to grow a tiny bit taller. I want to live in the country or by the sea. Lots of things really.

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What’s something you wish for your self, 10 years in the future?
 
I tend to work in 1 year plans to be honest. 10 years is far too scary a prospect to consider. In 2013 I have three children’s book commissions to complete, which are going to be so incredible. The writers I’m working for are giving me a great deal of freedom to be as visual as I possibly can, which is exciting. So, hopefully they will be published by the end of next year. I am also developing my own children’s book ‘Grandad’s Secret Giant’ which I’m having a lot of fun doing. As well as all that, Neil and myself are going through the Arts Council funding process for our graphic novel ‘Hospice’, which is also going to keep me busy for a large chunk of 2013. I guess though, within the next ten years I would like to think I will be more established as an illustrator and hopefully be earning a living from it. My ultimate goal however, is to make a feature-length animated film. That would be an absolute dream come true.

Michelle’s Words

In Interview on December 10, 2012 at 5:13 pm

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Michelle Hill is a kind, creative person that I hope to run into more often. I met her at ArtPool’s Craft Fest this past summer. I thought it’d be fun to make some feather hair clips and attend the Festival as a vendor. Michelle bought one with a large vintage button, saying that she’d made a sale and that meant she could purchase something. She mostly sews and prints colorful pillows and accessories on Etsy using found and vintage objects that you can find here. But without further ado, here are her lovely words.

When did you fist pick up a sewing needle?
 
When I was little, my mom used to make a lot of my clothes. At age 7 and 8 I was interested in the fashion that I saw on television worn by a lot of my favorite musicians on this show called ‘Solid Gold’. So I would try to get her to make me sequined tops and funny pants. Of course nothing came out looking glamorous. She made me tops trimmed with ruffles in eyelet and wide pants with elastic waists and big pockets. When I was in 4th grade I begged her to show me how to sew, but she said that she didn’t have the patience. So I started to hand stitch little bags with big crooked stitches. I remember carrying one of those bags to school with pride. By middle school we had Home Ec. classes, so I learned how to sew on a machine and I started to make myself some pretty funny clothes. I loved Madonna back then and I was really into altering my clothing. I cut and ripped a lot and bleached and splattered. I also made these baggie dresses and skirts that I would tie up on the bottom.

Did you like to draw as a kid, or do these characters and doodles originate in the form they’re currently in, stamped and sewn?

As I kid I loved to draw. My brother and I would watch this guy named Captain Bob early Saturday mornings. He would teach us how to draw animals.  My brother always did well. I didn’t think that I could draw as well. But I loved the idea of art and drawing and making things. I remember spending a lot of time by myself making things in my room. I also  remember that when we would go on family vacations I would always be drawing to keep myself entertained. I remember drawing a lot of  fashion illustrations. I would fill pages and pages of paper with pictures of dresses and funny shoes. I think for a period as I got older I stopped drawing as much. For a while I was all doom and gloom and sat around listening to music in my room and that’s it. I started to realize that I should continue to draw and make. So while I was a teen, I started to take art classes and continued it into college. The printing didn’t come about until much later. It started slowly with a class in monoprint and over time I studied silkscreen, then etching and woodblock and relief. Etching is by far my favorite form of printmaking. I enjoy the depths of light and lines but it is not something you can usually do at home because it requires chemicals and a press. About 4 years ago I started making bags and repurposing clothing with my prints and embellishments. At the same time I came across a book by Lotta Jansdotter which really inspired me to do what I’m doing now.

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What do you enjoy about crafting your own things? 

Everything I make is one of a kind. Each piece may have an element of another, but everything I make should be different. I like the idea of the individuality of each piece. Sometimes I will make something that will remind me of a person I met or a time or place. Sometimes I think of the person who might buy it and imagine what they will do with the piece or who it will go to. I really enjoy putting fabrics together with my own printed pieces. I love using found parts like vintage buttons or beads or parts of old clothes. They are good memories that I hope to pass on.

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Do you often give the things you make away or as gifts?

 I love to give away things that I make. I think that is why it took me so long to actually do what I do. I am kind of humble and the idea of taking money for my work sometimes still freaks me out. It really freaked me out when I first started doing [craft] shows. I made my husband do all of the business and I just made the art. Now I feel better about it and know that people wouldn’t buy my stuff if they didn’t like it. But I definitely love to give things away and make special items for friends and family. Usually when someone purchases an item on Etsy, I will throw in something extra. Who doesn’t like surprises?

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? 

Many years ago, a friend started giving me mixtapes for my birthday. He labeled them ‘Michelle Mixes’. I must have at least 8 or 9. In fact, I keep a basket full of the mixes that friends have given me over the years. Many of these mixes are full of old punk rock that you can’t get on iTunes and I still keep a tape player in my studio to play them. The music brings back good memories of such good friends and times.

Is there a medium you’d like to work in but haven’t yet?
 
I love films and would love to make a short film. Years ago a filmmaker friend gave me Super 8 film to do just that. I tried to make a film where I was collecting light and patterns caused by light. I defeated myself by thinking that I wouldn’t be able to get the film developed, so I think it’s half done in the camera. I also enjoy listening to environmental sounds and would like to do something with sound. I guess it may have nothing to do with what I do now, but wouldn’t it be great if I could attempt to mix it all?

Of course you’re much more than your fabric creations! Where else can you be seen working and doing? 

When I’m not making things I’m wrangling up the future ne’er do wells of the world. Just kidding. I work with preschool age children trying to get them ready for kindergarten. It is a big challenge since many of my kids come from unstructured and unreliable homes. Many of my days are stressful because there’s alot of arguing and nitpicking going on. But I know the kids can’t help it, this is what they know. Everything usually turns out wonderful as the day progresses.

Where and who would you say you draw inspiration from?
 
I find inspiration from everything. On Etsy I have a huge list of favorites. I am amazed by all of the wonderful artists that are out there. When I come up with images for my own prints I tend to look at patterns in nature and architecture. I also love Zakka Style. And when all else fails, I will ask my son for help.

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What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned?

As corny as it sounds, the most important lesson I’ve learned is: don’t give up. Keep working and keep building upon your ideas and visions. When I look at what I did just  4 years ago I do see the progress. I like that.

Finish these sentences:

I would love to… make a small line of clothing. (Or walk across the country.)
I’ll never… stop daydreaming. 
I enjoy when… people are genuinely interested  in what I do.  
Sundays are for… waking up early, coffee and enjoying the silence.

Lynn’s Words

In Interview on December 4, 2012 at 6:22 pm

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Lynn Casper is my official friend and unofficial cousin. My aunt, who nicely tries to understand the projects I work on, mentioned a while back that she had a niece who worked on things too, and gave her email address to me. And here we are. Here, I ask her about success, doubt and the wonderful, helpful thing that is inner strength. Lynn is incredibly driven and I look forward to seeing her projects continue to develop.

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

An architect, a pharmacist, a musician, a professional soccer player, doing something in the music industry. 

What kinds of projects did you work on before Homoground? Were they predecessors to Homoground? 

I’ve worked on A LOT of different projects. but the ones most crucial leading up to Homoground, were Be Yr Own Hero (& its counter part Be Yr Own Queero) and NINJATRONICS. BYOH started in 2007 when some friends came together to throw a DIY (Do It Yrself) festival. It was a combination of radical workshops, music, activism and community building. We threw the fest for 3 years and organized other projects throughout the year. We were all very active with Food Not Bombs and also ran a ‘Really Really Free Market’ every month. In December of 2008, I got a scholarship to attend the Gay and Lesbian Bloggers Summit and decided to shift my focus more on LGBTQ issues, thus Be Yr Own Queero was born. BYOQ mostly ran its course in early 2009. On the side of all this, I was very active in the music scene, playing in a band called Doly Toro from 2007-2009. And then getting into DJing more after that, which spurred NINJATRONICS, a music blog and DJ duo that I did with my friend, TEKNACOLORNINJA. We DJ’d parties and made podcasts. Then things died down for a bit when Teknacolorninja moved away….  (And I was mostly busy taking photos of umbrellas.) 

Design by Andrea Georgas

Design by Andrea Georgas

How did Homoground culminate? 

The fall after the Ninja moved, my friend Bambi who runs OutImpact.com invited me to do a radio show on her new site: OutImpactRadio.com that she was launching in January 2011. I agreed and combined my passion for queer activism with music. Plus, I was tired of listening to the same bands I had been listening to for the past 5 years. It gave me a reason to dig up some rad stuff I’d never heard about. 

When I was little I used to pretend I was hosting radio shows in my bedroom with my dad’s cassette tapes. Classic rock. Hahah. And then as technology changed, I found other ways to share music. Mix tapes, mix cds, mp3 forums, podcasts. 

What’s the biggest obstacle you’ve had to overcome related to working on Homoground?

SO MANY! I’m good at all the behind the scenes organizing and pushing information out onto the internet, but I’m naturally an extremely introverted person. So it takes a lot out of me to put on the public side of Homoground and get into “character” as scantron (my DJ name). I’m not particularly good at striking up conversations with strangers and interacting socially with strangers in general, so it has prevented me from really letting people know about Homoground and what it’s all about. I’d rather put stickers on things and take photos. But Homoground has really pushed me to go outside of that comfort zone, to go to events alone or give someone a sticker/flyer. But it’s still really hard for me. The podcast is easy, because I pre-record that and can edit and re-record when I mess up. Live radio terrifies me. So I guess just getting in the right mindsets for things has been my biggest obstacle. Balancing everything that is going on. Keeping up with shit. Not letting myself go crazy or discouraged and focusing on the things that I can do rather stress over the things I can’t. It’s all a lot of work and exhausting when I can’t afford to hire staff to take care of different aspects. And I hate asking for help. 

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What are some ideas you’ve scrapped because you couldn’t get them to work or they weren’t right for the project?

A lot of ideas. I love thinking and coming up with ideas. Not all of them are good and sometimes they fail, but that’s okay, because I’ve learned that I come up with probably 100% more ideas than the average person, so my output is high, and it’s only logical that not every single idea I come up with is good. So it’s all about knowing which ones are good and which ones aren’t. I used to get really discouraged and annoyed by some people when I would tell them about an idea, realize after much thought that it won’t work and then they ask me about it later and when I say I’m not doing it and they roll their eyes at me. I have a few ideas in the back of my head that I haven’t let go of yet, but aren’t priorities right now. But one day, once the timing and resources are right, I will want to make them realities. 

I do a lot of experimenting also with projects. I am constantly tweaking the Homoground website and other cogs in the wheel to see what works and what doesn’t. It all takes a lot of learning and is frustrating at times.
 

What do you think has been the most successful aspect and what are you most proud of?

Consistency has been a large factor to Homoground’s success. That and lots of passion and dedication. The stickers really help in terms of getting the name out there and having others spread the word for me. 

Homoground won best website in Wilmington in 2011. That was pretty awesome, Homoground was on the front cover. We were also nominated in the People’s Choice Podcast Awards in 2011 and 2012 (We haven’t gotten the results for the winner this year yet, so we still might have a chance). 

And just knowing that people really love what I’m doing keeps me motivated to keep doing it. Sometimes this work is extremely isolating and I spend a lot of time on my computer, alone in my room recording myself talking, which seems pretty weird. But I would have LOVED to have a giant resource of independent queer musicians when I was a teenager, so that’s where being consistent comes into play.  

Also, I think moving to NYC is going to be the best decision I’ve ever made. :) We’ll see what happens… 

How have the feminist playing cards been received? 

Pretty well! Honestly, I have been dreading the day when I receive opposition to Feminist Playing Cards and Homoground, but surprisingly, I haven’t had that much negativity regarding the projects. Which is a huge relief! Because I guess some of the stuff I do can be considered controversial or at least make people feel uncomfortable. But whateves, I’ve felt uncomfortable my whole life growing up in a world that is so sexist and homophobic. And that’s not really like a ‘Fuck You’ to anyone, its just a “I want to be happy, and if that makes you uncomfortable, THEN… fuck you.” Hah! 

But yeah, the Fem. Cards have been getting awesome feedback! From the beginning, people were really intrigued by the project and once it was tangible, people loved how the cards came out! Going back, I think hitting our Kickstarter goal was my proudest/most successful moment. 

[The cards have received attention from Huffington Post, Bust Magazine and Bitch Magazine to name a few!]

Were you working solo on that project?

There were 14 artists involved in the project. (http://feministcards.tumblr.com/artists)
My role was essential “project director” or whatever fancy term. I took care of all the logistics, the Kickstarter, the promotional material, the legal shit, finding the manufacturer, etc. 
 

What was recruiting artists like?
 
For the feminist cards, I asked a few friends who are graphic designers / illustrators if they thought it was a good idea. They jumped on board and recommended other artists to me. It was rad because some really amazing artists that I’ve respected for a while joined the project. They are all super talented people with a million other projects going on, too. So I was very honored to have them all be a part of this project. 
 

Tell me about filling envelopes with bubble-wrap in your apartment.

A PAIN IN THE BUTT!! Actually, that was probably the biggest obstacle I’ve faced all year. Figuring out the best way to package and mail all the rewards gave me a headache. But now I know a lot more than I did before and if I ever do something like it again, I can do it better. I’m almost done mailing everything out, so that’s a relief!
 

What would you like to accomplish with Homoground by next year?

In a year from now, I would hope to have a successful monthly party or at least just more events. I would like to be generating enough income through Homoground for it to pay for itself and to start paying myself for all the work I’ve done on it. I would like to see our numbers double (or triple!) by the end of the year. I’d like to amp up our video channel: homoground.TV 
 

What would you like to be doing in five years? 

In 5 years, I hope I’d be working for myself and be able to have a core Homoground team that was compensated for their work. I’d like for Homoground to expand to more cities. I’m not exactly sure what all the details would look like, but I am hopeful about the next 5 years and who knows, Homoground might transform into something else, or an unexpected opportunity might come out of it. I’m excited to see what happens. 
 

What do you tell yourself when things get difficult?

I have a few things that I tell myself. If I’m getting too distracted I’ll repeat “focus” in my mind and write it down and put it somewhere visible. If I’m feeling unproductive, I’ll chant “GET SHIT DONE” put on some upbeat music and get my body moving (Even if I’m doing work at my computer, I’ll stand in front of it and stretch a bit). When I start to get discouraged or frustrated, I’ll remind myself that my hard work will pay off and karma will reward me when the time is right and that I just need to be patient. When I get overwhelmed or anxious, I’ll take a shower and stretch. I think a lot (if you haven’t noticed. Hahah.) So, when I go on walks, I always have pep talks happening in my head. Same with showers. I usually come out with a solution to whatever has been bothering me and a renewed sense of motivation. 

I live by these 4 words: live, learn, create, share and I often reflect on which cycle I am in at that point of time. When I incorporate those 4 things, love grows within myself. I feel confident and happy with myself. 
 
What do you think your greatest strength is?

My mind. But it is also my least greatest strength when not used correctly.
 
What do you wish you could tell your 17-year-old self?

To not let other people’s opinions discourage me. I was very sensitive (maybe I still am) as a kid and people’s negativity really affected me. In return, I was often a negative person who always thought I would never be good enough, so why bother trying? I actually wrote a letter to my 17-year-old self a few months ago for a gathering with some friends. I’ll attach it. It’s a lot of the same things I’ve said above. 

Lynn’s Letter to Her 17-year-old Self:

Hey you, I see you staring out the window, dreaming about a fantasy world where you can truly be yourself. The teacher who sat you in the back of the room for being too hyper is teaching, your parents who evaluate every single thing you do grounded you for being rebellious once again, and the preacher who keeps spouting out all the things you can’t do is being attentively adorn by a room full of people. And all you can think is what the fuck is the point to all of this if you can’t be happy. Because I know for a fact, that you are not.

Right now, I bet you’re dreaming up a storyline in your head where you can act on the crush you have on the girl sitting next to you in class. In your story, you cast yourself as an outgoing boy who gets the girl. Let me tell you: you will grow up and realize that you don’t have to be that outgoing boy in order to have crushes on girls. And you don’t have to feel guilty about having those feelings towards your gender either. You can simply be yourself.

Although, these words may seem absurd, know that you are growing up in a place that is way behind everything else. It’s a place where you will never feel that you truly belong, but this is a test in life for you. Instead of fleeing this place, you need to change the parts that you don’t like as much as you can. Not just for yourself, but for humanity. Everything you do is going to be one cog in a larger picture to make things better for other people. For the community you live in who feels just as isolated as you do. Its a large task at hand, but that is just how your heart thinks. But before you try to attempt to save the world, most importantly, You need to save yourself first. Not in the same way the preacher describes. Your heart is going to take you places that most of society is terrified of. And because of their own insecurities, they will retaliate, they will hate you, they will call you names, they will tell you that everything you do is wrong. It’s a tough world. But trust your gut & don’t doubt yourself. You must learn fast that YOU are the only person who will always be with you. For the rest of your life. So you can’t care what they think or say. you must learn to love yourself, feel comfortable with yourself, and change or work on the things that you dislike about yourself and whatever situation you find yourself in. It’s a life long process, but the sooner you learn to be your best friend, the easier it will be to get through really tough shit. Life can get really overwhelming and outright depressing, no matter what. So its important to learn these essential tools now so that you can handle whatever the Universe throws at you. Things will always change, no matter what. Its beyond your control. But you can control how you react, and this will speak volumes of your character. You will frequently visit a place called Depression. It’s a place of bad memories and negative feelings and total discomfort. You will hate going to this place but you will go there alot, trust me. Eventually you will learn how to distract yourself from this place. You might go there, but you will start to develop tools to overcome all of its demons. When you feel yourself slipping into that place, you must remember all the things you love, all the dreams you want to come true, all the goals you want to accomplish. These are the things that will carry you over the pit of Depression and will stick with you for the rest of your life. You must embrace your mind and your ideas and you MUST create. Making your ideas happen is the best distraction you have in order to avoid the nasty parts of your brain. You are a very passionate person. That scares people, even yourself. Because you are going to feel every feeling in the world 10 times more than the average person. So you must learn to use that passion for good. To give yourself fuel to live, learn, create and share. To help generations of kids that are also staring out the window, dreaming about a better world.

Sarah’s Words Part Two

In Interview on November 11, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Hello! How have you been? What’s going on with you these days?

Hello! I’ve been pretty busy here in Detroit these days. After all that traveling, I picked the place I liked the best and have been putting down roots. I bought a house a couple years ago and have a dog and am working on putting together a screen-printing collective with some friends, Ocelot Print Shop.

What are your photographing habits like lately, and what are you doing when you’re not snapping portraits of your friends or remnants of last night’s party? (In reference to your last interview)

I have been generally less prone to photography lately and more into secondary processes involving photos I’ve taken. This started with the set of postcards I made from the 50 states trip, and has evolved into creating stickers and screen prints and things like that, using my own images.

What was the last thing you photographed?

I went to an amazing art opening by a guy named Robert Sestok, a really influential and wonderful Detroit-based artist. I took a lot of pictures of the installation; instead of hanging anything on the gallery walls, he built up these vertical rafters and hung his work all over them, so it made a sort of 3-D painting environment to walk through. Very cool.

Latest series you dreamed up to capture?

Right now I’m trying to take a good, high-contrast photo-capture of a giant fawn shooting lasers out of its eyes into a crowd of tiny people, for a holiday card that will be a set put out by the print shop for the holidays.

What made you start trekking around the country and what do you think came from it? 

I found myself deeply discontent in my current state—both New York and state of being. I didn’t really set out consciously to go to all 50 states, the trip built momentum as I went along. As far as what came from it…that’s pretty immeasurable. I found my place in the world. I found out the reality of who I am when the temporal information of place is stripped away. I found some really good barbeque joints. I found that the United States is an amazing and diverse country.

What was the first state you visited that you hadn’t been to? 

Michigan, actually.

The last one you visited?
 

Iowa, on my way back to Michigan for good.

Now that you’ve been to every state, would you say it’s changed your view of the country? Or of where you currently live? 

Absolutely. I think I had a sort of ill-informed, snotty idea that places like Europe were so amazing because they had all these different cultures living close together. I didn’t really get that America is like that too. It’s easy to be fooled by the homogeny of chain stores and suburban sprawl, but every place has its own feel, and once you wander just a little ways off the interstate, you’ll find something amazing and unexpected.

As for Detroit, I think it was love at first sight, I can state emphatically that I checked out literally everywhere else before I settled here, and I settled here because it’s the best place for me.

Could you share a couple travel stories from your visits around the country–

Your favorite, or one that stands out to you?

It’s hard to break one story out as a favorite. There’s a lot of them in the book I made about my trip.

One related to something you learned? 

Maybe this is only true for me, but I think a lot of my identity used to be not so much who I was, but where I was. I am prone absorb the culture around me and reflect it. Moving so quickly from place to place removed all of that locational input, and made it clear what things were actually fundamental to who I am.

I learned that within me (and I think, within everyone) there is a deep sense of knowing the right thing to do, and honing my ability to listen to that voice, above and separate from my other, less-wise voices is a fruitful pursuit.

What do you tell yourself in moments of doubt?

Trust yourself. Keep moving forward. It’s more likely that the road you’re on is leading somewhere than a dead end.

When are you at your happiest?

I love walking the dog. I tend to view anything where I lose track of hours as something that makes me happy, and I can lose a whole day sewing or in my garden. I volunteer at a children’s library in my neighborhood, and it’s pretty hard to have a bad day when you get to deal with 15 enthusiastic 2nd graders.

Steven’s Words

In Interview on November 6, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Steven Kraan is a comic artist from Rotterdam, The Netherlands. His name was given to me by David Litchfield for The Say Anything Project. I was looking for a few more kind, talented artists to complete the project and Kraan delivered three times over. Steven’s piece was ‘Mara and Me’. He recently relocated to Vancouver with his girlfriend, and I sought out to ask him about that big change and then some.

Tell me a bit about where you grew up, please.
 
I grew up in an unpronounceable city called Capelle aan den IJssel, a city glued to Rotterdam, in the Netherlands. Childhood was with its ups and downs: school, hating gym, playing outside together with the neighbourhood kids until dawn, breaking my arm, getting a NES, ditching my friend for videogames, playing cards with grandma, fighting with my sister, watching The Simpsons with my sister, being bullied for getting high grades, family holidays, falling from my bike and breaking my front teeth and drawing a lot in between.
 
When did you learn being an illustrator was something you could do?
 
I have no idea, but I’ve always enjoyed drawing and if I don’t do it I’m sad. Drawing is how I best express myself and it allows me to make sense of the world.
 
How did ‘drawing daily’ come about?
 
I had an inactive Facebook account. When I started using it again, I mainly posted drawings on my wall. At some point I wanted to reach more people besides my friends, so I started a Facebook page called ‘drawing daily’ with the intention to post a daily drawing and reach a wider audience. It was also a way to train myself in drawing more and hopefully improve my skills while at it.
 
What was your first ‘drawing daily’ comic?


 
I think the first drawing daily drawing was a videogame inspired series about the seven sins. It was a drawing about an overweight Pac-Man titled ‘Gluttony’.
 
What was the last thing you drew?

The last thing I drew was a comic about two cosmonauts and a space dog. The cosmonauts are characters I use a lot in my comics; I really like to use returning characters in my work. My comics are usually 1 page gags, but by using characters more often than once, you create a background for them, allowing you to make more layered work and creating a ‘world’ which grows with every new comic.
 
Would you say it’s easier for you to show than to say?
 
Yes. While making comics, coming up with the ‘right’ words that go with the drawing is the most difficult part for me.
 
You recently moved to Vancouver, what was that process like?
 
After visiting Vancouver for a holiday last year, my girlfriend and I decided we really wanted to return to this city and live there. The preparation in advance was a tough process: sorting out our stuff, saying goodbye to friends and family, cancelling subscriptions, getting a working holiday visa, switching health care etc. It was a stressful time but it also felt relieving to sort out your belongings and leaving with only the bare essentials. Sitting in the plane to Vancouver was the first time in months we could relax and get excited about moving to Vancouver.
 
What drew you to Vancouver?
 
The space there is in Vancouver compared to the Netherlands, the wild nature which surrounds the city, the friendliness of the people living here and the relaxing laid-back vibe which hangs in the air.
 
What are you glad you left behind in Rotterdam and what are you sad about leaving behind?
 
Rotterdam is a great city. I think what we left behind is who we were in the Netherlands and started with a fresh start in Vancouver. Like snakes, leaving behind their old skin in order to make room for a new one. I’m sad leaving behind a city filled with amazing architecture, a great film festival but mostly my friends and family. Luckily with Skype and social media other countries are just a mouse click away.
 
What’s the most exciting/interesting/memorable trip you’ve taken so far?
 
Coming to Vancouver, settling in a new country, a new city, a new community has been one big exciting, interesting and memorable trip. Every day is filled with new things and experiences, it feels like an extended holiday that never ends.
 
What do you do when you’re not drawing?
 
When I’m not drawing I’m working at an art supplies store in downtown Vancouver called Opus. I can’t really think of a nicer place for me to work at. I’m surrounded by great art materials and meet new interesting people every day who are involved with creative projects. Besides drawing and working, me and my girlfriend love to explore this ‘new’ city. We do this by walking around a lot, discovering new neighbourhoods, forests, museums, theatres, parks and everything else Vancouver has to offer. And if there is some time left, I love to watch series (at the moment we are in the middle of The Wire).
 
What do you think is the most important lesson you’ve learned?
 
That it’s good not to stick around too long in one place. There is a whole world out there, and I hope to see as much of it as possible, meeting people and learning about other cultures. It is also nice to realise you’re flexible as a human, getting used and adjusted to new surroundings. Vancouver is great, but definitely not the final stop.
 
What do you tell yourself when things get difficult?
 
That things are bound to get better. Because there are difficult times, there are great times as well (no ups without downs).
 
Finish these sentences:
 
I am looking for…challenges.
I hate when…I didn’t write down an idea for a comic.
I often ask myself…aren’t I’m lucky that I am still healthy and alive.
I hope to…enrich myself and those around me.

Ari’s Words

In Interview on September 11, 2012 at 1:03 am

Several months ago, I attended Ringling College of Art’s Senior Photography Thesis. Among the projects students spent weeks and some months on, was Ari Gabel’s photo series of the people of the Mississippi Delta. I enjoyed peeking at the folks that he’d captured and the interview clip he provided, but also that the project didn’t go as planned, he’d described. He originally headed to Mississippi to photograph the place that had given the world the blues, music he was very inspired by. However, upon his arrival he found something very different. I introduced myself to him that night to compliment him on his work, but also knowing that not too far down the road I was going to ask for an interview. And sure enough, here we are. Thanks for your time, Ari.

*Also, today I have a little something different for you: the actual interview recording. I finally have a digital recorder, one with sound quality good enough to share with the ears of others. I hope you enjoy seeing and hearing Gabel’s words.

**Also, also, Gabel is slated to speak about his travels to Mississippi in January during one of our Travelogues. Stay tuned for details.

Okay, when did you first pick up a camera?

I first picked up a camera that my stepdad gave when I was a sophomore in high school, at an air show in Dayton.

Dayton.

My stepdad thought I would enjoy having a camera to fool around with and it ended up becoming something I really enjoyed.

Uh, was it digital?

It was a film camera. A Minolta 35mm.

That’s awesome. Did you have access to a darkroom?

Uh–

Or you just–

–in my high school class I did.

That’s awesome.

Which I took the next year. And quit playing sports, and found that the arts were more important. So it was pretty, pretty cool.

Yeah. Um, do you take more photos with your camera or your phone on a daily basis?

Camera.

Your camera? Do you carry it around with you?

For the most part, yeah.

Yeah?

Every once in a while I will leave it at home. I’m scared of it getting stolen. In my car.

It’s a big worry.

Yeah.

What are the kinds of things that strike you enough to pull out your camera?

An interesting person, I would have to say. Yeah.

What was the last thing that you took a picture of?

My girlfriend.

Your girlfriend? Was it today?

Uh, yesterday.

Yesterday.

I haven’t taken any pictures today.

No? Before, a couple minutes ago, you mentioned you haven’t been shooting lately. Why would you say you haven’t been?

Um, well, to be honest I guess it would be lack of interest in Sarasota for the most part. And really interested in continuing my two series and being able to work on those. But being here, kind of prevents that for now. And when I go out shooting here, I just really want to be shooting there and actually working towards a body of work that I want to finish.

How do you think being a photographer affects the rest of your life?

Repeat that?

[Laughs] How do you think being a photographer affects the rest of your life?

Wow. That’s a pretty hard question. Um, I guess I’ll always be seeing photos that I will be wanting to take. I don’t know. That’s a hard question. Let me think about that one.

Okay.

I’ll think of a better answer.

Sure. [Laughs] I mean, we can always come back to it. Can you tell me a bit about your thesis project?

My thesis was, started out as a series about the Mississippi Delta, but mostly about the blues. That’s what interests me in the area, I would have to say. After my first trip to Mississippi, um, I found out that no one was really interested in the blues, that still lived in Mississippi. And it was a really big bummer. I almost didn’t continue the project after my first five days there. I came back and my professors and a visiting artist from Chicago, after talking to him, he told me your first time you ever take a trip somewhere for a project it is full of failures. So, I decided to take one more trip. And my second trip was amazing. And I continued photographing it, and then it evolved into, uh, photographing the area and the people that influenced such an interesting genre of music, at least for me, before it left for Chicago. And it’s still around a bit, but it’s dying off. So, that’s a brief preview I guess about what the series is about.

Okay.

An area of people. And music.

Do you think that the second trip being more successful was because you knew more of what you were looking for?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Most definitely. It was a matter of knowing where to go and having a little more research into why I failed the first time, and being able to contact the people I met the first time who helped me out on my second trip a lot more. So, it was a big help researching ahead of time, I guess.

Yeah.

And knowing where the series was really gonna go instead of having really high expectations for something that doesn’t exist anymore.

Um, what like, who would you say was helping you out on the second time around?

Um, a gentleman named David Caldwell in Holly Springs, Mississippi. He uh, I met him on my first trip. It was the most successful like, time, I guess I had on my first trip. He introduced me to a lot of nice people, and then the first place I went to on my second trip was right back to his home slash record store-thing. And, again, I met amazing people. And people who were friends with him helped me a lot. So, I think David Caldwell–

That’s awesome.

–would be the best person.

Just a member of that community that you were kind of floating around in.

Yeah, I actually saw him in a documentary–

Oh–

–from 2000, called The Last of the Hill Country Bluesmen. And I was like- after my first trip, I was like, ‘we have to go here.’ My friend and I. I was like, ‘I don’t think it exists anymore, but let’s go see.’ The first place I saw, driving into Holly Springs was his studio in an alley. I was blown away that he was outside. He’s a great guy.

That’s awesome. Um, I feel like I have a general understanding of why you say the first trip didn’t work out as planned, but do you want to tell me in case I’m assuming the wrongs things?

Um, the first trip didn’t work out as planned. I, well, I thought of the series laying in bed one night listening to music and I was like, well, this is kind of what I want to do for my thesis. So, I decided to call my friend during my winter break, I had a month like, without school, and him and I decided to drive to Mississippi overnight. I had a little bit of research, had some places I wanted to go to, but no people lined up to talk to, like nothing. I had an idea of what I thought I would find. And when I got there, I didn’t find any of that. So, I think that’s why I got really bummed out. And it was raining the whole time.

[Laughs]

Which didn’t help it.

Yeah, a damper on things.

Yeah.

Um, so in one sentence, what were you looking for?

People playing the blues.

In one sentence what did you find?

A lot of sad people. I think a group of sad people. But, I don’t know if I like that answer. It makes it sound really sad, but I found a group of strong people holding together each other. Great communities.

Definitely. Um, I’m sure that, you know, there’s a lot of joy there as well.

Yeah.

Looking differently than you thought it might look, you know, people they’re not one-sided.

And it’s a different kind of happiness that, that neighbors in a community of people give each other. It’s a lot of holding together, I guess. That’s how, I think they all stay happy. A gentleman, I think, the best, like, conversation I had was actually a guy who didn’t remember me the second trip because he was so messed up on drugs and alcohol, but he told me the reason he left Chicago was because he’d rather be poor and be with his family in Mississippi than be poor and lonely in Chicago. So that’s why, his reasoning for moving back to Mississippi and leaving Chicago. And I think that was really, a really strong statement that he’s still poor but at least he has his friends and family.

That’s true.

That hold him together.

That’s interesting. Um, what was it like getting these folks to trust you enough to let you take their photo?

Um, I think it took time. Like, I wouldn’t say that much time, but time actually showing interest in their day to day life, and not just like, trying to exploit somebody for their look or their color or a lot of other things, but actually being genuinely interested in who they are. And the area they live in and grew up in. The music they all grew up with.

That makes a lot of sense. A little bit of time to take down that wall.

Yeah.

That’s really interesting. Um, what does it feel like for you when you’re trying to take a stranger’s photo?

Um, I’m actually really shy, so it’s really hard for me to break down my own wall to go and ask somebody to take their photo. Like, I can think of a lot of photos that I probably missed out on just because I was really shy or too scared of asking somebody, but I guess it gets easier every time you go out and do it. So, I guess it’s really hard for me to, uh, ask stranger’s to take their photos. But, for some reason a lot of people end up trusting me to do it. So. Which is nice.

Maybe the shyness translates to earnestness.

Yeah, I guess it could.

Uh, what are you working on currently?

Um.

[Laughs] Or thinking of working on currently. What do you have up in the attic?

Finishing my Ohio series. The Ohio River Valley series that has currently been on my mind since I- almost finished my thesis. I wouldn’t say it’s done, because it’s not. The Ohio series is more comfortable for me. I guess it’s a level of comfortness of knowing the area a lot better than knowing Mississippi. So, right now, that’s what I wanna finish.

Okay. And will that be covering, um, people- is that involving people as well, or can you describe that a little bit more?

Yeah. The, um, the Ohio series is about, I guess, well, it’s about the Ohio River Valley. And I did it for my independent study, so I did it for like, one semester last year for my thesis. It originally was gonna evolve to my thesis. And then I realized it was more important to me to like, hold off on it, because what I really want to get out of it is to being able to spend time with families for longer periods than like, a weekend or a day. And actually gaining a lot more trust in communities than I could’ve gained while being in school. And that series is about, well the Ohio River Valley runs from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to southern Indiana where it empties into the Mississippi. And the areas along the river from Pittsburgh, to- Pittsburgh, Ohio, West Virginia, Kentucky, that whole area has been, like, I guess has been declining in livelihood and becoming more impoverished year after year after year from loss of coal mining, loss of other jobs and, like, Ohio’s agriculture and the use of the Ohio River has like, I guess gone down in, in time. Like, it used to be super highway into the Mississippi and coal and I guess natural power sources would be sent to the south, but the past years have been so polluted by nuclear power that a lot of families either have nowhere to work or nowhere to live and it’s a pretty interesting issue in the area that like, I wouldn’t say I support coal mining, but in a way, the decline of coal mining is ruining a lot of people’s lives. Especially in West Virginia and southern Kentucky. Like, these people have nowhere else to work in these one mile, two mile towns that a coal mine is the only place you can get a job. And a grandfather and his dad worked in a coal mine and now, what’s the son supposed to do, work in, like, a pizza place because he’s too scared to leave the only place he’s ever known. And that’s, like, a big issue in these areas that, like, they’re so used to growing up in these communities that are one mile, two mile, three miles long that a big city is so overwhelming and scary to them. And they have no money to go to a big city, and the education isn’t really there. So, I feel, I guess, very strongly about that series because I’m from Ohio, and I wouldn’t say I’m from anywhere near where these people are from, I guess, three hours west, to the closest area. But, I started that series because I would drive through that area every year, like, five times a year and be so amazed by the nuclear power plants and the river, and these little, tiny, beautiful towns. And I see them as I get older, dying off and becoming worse and worse, and people, meeting so many sad people that I feel like I, hope that’d I’d be able to help or at least show their stories and represent them in a nicer light than I think the media and other people represent Appalachia in a way. Yeah.

That’s wonderful.

Thank you. So, that’s what I wanna work on.

That’s really great. I, uh, one of the things I was thinking of when you were saying, coal mining, I recently watched a documentary, I think it’s called, The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia.

I actually had a chance to meet the Whites–

Did you?

–but I had to go back to school.

Ah. I, uh, just, you know, there’s an interview with like, one of the sister’s, like, husband or ex-husband and, like, his cousin or something and they’re taking about being coal miners and how their fathers were and they are and that’s what you do. That’s what they know, and that’s really interesting.

I mean, yeah, that’s what a lot of people know. I spent, I think, one of the most interesting ladies I spoke to, her name was Wilma Rose and, uh, in Pennsylvania. She was having a garage sale and her garage was, like, super interesting. It was full of old coal mining equipment, and her husband died a couple years back and he was a coal miner. And he got his GI Bill after World War II and he still didn’t need to work anymore. He was getting paid coming back from the war and he was like, ‘Nah, I’m gonna go back to the coal mines.’ She told me stories and stories for hours and him coming home before the coal mines had showers and all she could see were his teeth and–

[Laughs]

–the white of his eyes. He would shower and ruin their white, porcelain shower. And it was just great hearing these stories from people that experienced such an interesting time in America. But, she wouldn’t let me photograph her.

No? But you did ask her?

I did ask her. She wouldn’t let me. She said that she’s too old and that’d I’d break her-she’d break my camera. But she let me take a picture of the garage and I think the picture of the garage says everything that I really wanted to say about her.

That’s wonderful that you got to spend a chunk of time with her.

Mmhmm.

And hear these bits that she gave you.

Yeah. A lot of really nice people in that area. A lot of really nice people everywhere.

[Laughs]

People just don’t give places a shot.

It seems like you have a thing for places.

I do.

Where do you think that came from?

I’ve talked about this. After a long conversation with my teacher last year, him helping I think figure out where, like, my work would go after graduation and, like, what I’m actually, really interested in, um, he started calling me a ‘preservationist’, and I think things that are dying off or almost nonexistent are more interesting to me than things that are easy to access and still around. And I think the places aspect of it, I guess not really experiencing those things where I grew up. I grew up in a town that’s full of middle class to wealthy people in Columbus, Ohio, and I wasn’t sheltered, but I didn’t grow up in these amazing places and meet all these incredibly interesting people that, or at least that I find incredibly interesting, who have these stories of generations and generations of families and real middle America. I guess. I think that’s what really intrigues me, to kinda preserve somebody’s story that might not be here in the next ten years.

Um, so we’ve talked about, or you’ve told stories about some really positive interactions you’ve had with people and gaining trust and everything, um, is there anything that stands out to you that, like, a negative experience you might’ve had along the way?

Um…

There’s always the–

In, uh, in Mississippi, I would have to say the racism really bummed me out. It’s really, people don’t really realize it. I mean, everyone knows in Mississippi the racism used to be really bad, but like, people think it’s changed but I don’t think it really has changed very much. I think the same families that have run Mississippi still run Mississippi with their wealth, and you cross one side of train tracks in these little towns of Mississippi and it’s completely segregated. I went to a cafe for lunch complete, like, right next door to the alley right where David Caldwell’s shop is and this white family owned this cafe and she told me that I was brave for even going into the alley. Because she clearly decided to never even venture into that alley to talk to anyone that’s not her color. I was like, I looked at her and I was like, ‘Im brave? What do you mean? They’re the nicest people I’ve ever met.’ Like, they didn’t know who I was. They welcomed me in. They allowed me to go to a funeral. I wouldn’t say I was brave. I think that’s just ignorance or being scared and hearing stories of Mississippi, like, from David about the racism that’s still around and that he still experiences every day. I think that it’s just really sad. And also, uh, I was driving in Mississippi and I stopped at a gas station and two white gentleman growled at me and told me to leave.

Oh my gosh.

Because they clearly weren’t- I wasn’t welcome in their town.

Huh.

It was interesting. I don’t know. I guess they don’t really like visitors. And then in Ohio, I wouldn’t say it’s a negative experience, I mean, I guess kind of, a lot of people weren’t really into me taking photos of a lot of things that I wish I was able to, like inside this bar in Ravenswood, West Virginia. It was a bookies bar, so I wasn’t allowed to take any photos because a lot of illegal things happened in it. But one gentleman allowed me to take his photo outside. So, a negative–

Something still positive in there.

–balanced with positive. Yeah.

Um, what is something that you hope to accomplish in the next two years? I don’t know why I chose two instead of one, but for this–

A better mass of time, I think. Um.

[Laughs] More wiggle room.

Yeah. I’d like to be able to finish at least one of the series. Probably the Ohio series. Find somebody to possibly give me a show. And lately I’ve been really interested in book publications. Either publish a zine or publish some sort of book that’s not Blurb. a real, nice book. Hopefully do that. We’ll see. High hopes.

Yeah. And zines have come a long way. You can put together something really nice these days.

Oh, yeah. I agree. I tried to start a zine last, two years ago and I ended up doing most of the work, so..

Same here. It’s really hard.

So, I had to stop because school, and the people who I started doing it with didn’t help me much, so I just couldn’t handle to workload. But, yeah, I’m very interested in zines and a lot of my friends, at least in the photo world are publishing zines and that’s pretty much what they do for- they don’t even take that many photos anymore. They have blogs and zines and things like that.

Interesting. Uh, what about five years?

Five years, wow. It’s hard to even imagine five years down the road. Hopefully be working as a photographer and being able to support myself with photography instead of another job, but It think that’s really the goal. Be able to have my passions support my life. And, yeah. I think that’s it.

Okay.

And have all that stuff finished, and hopefully people are interested in it. Which, I hope. I don’t know. There are a lot of people that aren’t really interested in the work I do. Or at least, I haven’t found that many people interested in it. Europeans are interested in it.

[Laughs]

‘Cause they like seeing Americana. And Americans aren’t really interested in America. They’re interested in other things. That’s an opinion, so..

[Laughs] No! Um, I guess you’ll find your audiences as you go along.

Yeah.

I’m not trying to, like, tell you– I’m telling myself as much as I’m telling you, you know? Like, uh, not everyone is going to want to hear what you have to say. Maybe it’ll be a smaller group, but they’ll really be listening.

Yeah.

You’ll find larger groups elsewhere. Like Europeans. [Laughs]

Yeah. That’s what I’m hoping for.

Um, do you wanna circle back around to that question, that was, uh, ‘how do you think being a photographer affects the rest of your life?’

Hmm. I’m really thinkin’ about this one. How being a photographer affects the rest of my life. I think it’s interesting to be able to work on something I love. and be passionate about something that I’ve been passionate about for, since I was in high school. And do that instead of, hopefully do that instead of another job or to be able to meet so many interesting people. I think that’s a big thing for me. Using photography to meet a lot of interesting people. And amazing people being photographing them, or just in the art world, or just in general. I feel like it’s let me meet a lot of people that I probably wouldn’t meet any other time. So, hopefully, that’s how it will affect my life. I get to meet a lot of people, and a lot of benefits from being a photographer, I think instead of another job that I might not be that interested in. Or it might venture into something else. And then, go back to your five years, I hope to be in my, I hope to do a Master’s program somewhere.

Yeah?

Yeah. Not positive on what I wanna do. Not sure if photography is really what I want to get my Master’s in. Uh, so, yeah. I guess add that to the five year plan.

[Laughs] Slide it on in there.

Yeah.

I’m sure whatever you get your Master’s in, you’ll definitely gonna be able to apply with photography. Im sure they’re gonna–

Yeah, that’s the plan.

They’re definitely gonna overlap. Um, what was I going to say? Oh– you saying that photography has allowed you to meet a lot of people, and then also, in the beginning talking about that you’re pretty shy. Do you think that photography has helped given you an outlet– in that way?

Oh, yeah, definitely.

–in that way?

It’s, uh, I think that the people who are also involved in photography or in art or making blogs or graphic design or any of those things, I think it gives us a common, a common subject to start conversation or talk about and maybe we realize that we have a lot of other things in common. It’s like, it’s a good thing to break down the barrier of shyness. I think a lot of artists are really shy. And I think their art allows them to, like, break out from that shyness or their own little shell for that little period of time. So. I think that’s really cool.

Definitely. Okay. Uh, finish these sentences. ‘I am always…’

[Laughs] Oh, man. I’m really bad at this.

[Laughs] No.

I am always… listening to records, I guess. Or looking for records. I buy a lot of records.

What was the last record you bought?

The last record I bought?

Yeah.

Uh, Canned Heat – Future Blues. I think that was the last record I bought. I’ve had records given to me in the last couple days.

Yeah?

But, the last record I bought was that and Ray Charles.

Awesome. Uh, ‘I can’t stand when…’

People are judgmental.

‘I wish I would…’

[Laughs] I wish I would… um, let’s see. I wish I would take photos more. I think that’s a good goal. I haven’t– I don’t really take photos ever, anymore. I’ve been taking a break from it.

Yeah.

I took, like, two pictures all summer. That’s, like, three months. [Laughs] It’s bad.

I think this is my first interview since, like, December.

Yeah.

So, sometimes you need it. Not like you’re not doing anything creative or artistic during that period, but you’re not working on the thing that you’re usually working on.

Mmhmm. And I also wish I’d stay more organized.

Also an admirable goal.

Yeah. [Laughs]

[Laughs]

I’m pretty bad at it. Yeah.

Awesome. That concludes the interview. Thank you, Sir Ari.

Photo by Kenneth Sterling Gronquist

Ari’s Portfolio

John Gold and the Search for Clarity

In Interview on March 26, 2012 at 6:15 am

Audio: Child of Light – John Gold

               During the week I was putting the exhibition of The Say Anything Project together, I gave John a call to see if he could make it to the show. He was preparing for a month-long tour and working in his hometown, Land O’ Lakes. He asked if I would want to interview him again sometime. I said,’Of course.’ Two days later we talked over tea. After the short interview, he asked if I had time to hear a song. We sat in the van he’d bought for the tour and asked if I’d like to hear a song that would make me happy or a song that would change my life. First, he played me happiness, and then he changed my life. It was beyond wonderful to see him play after so long. His new material is great. I can’t wait to make some promo. material for him. But, without further ado– here is John Gold Part Two.

Okay, this should be fine. I wrote a couple questions down yesterday–

Waaait a second.

What?

Um.. Full name: Johnathan Russell Gold. Date: March 14th, 2012. Please, your full name.

Gina Rose Moccio.

Date is.. the 14th of 2012? Affirmative?

Indeed. That it is.

Anything I say that could be incriminating in any way, or uh, tarnish my good record, will be uh, off the record. And stated in any written terms very vaguely in a way that nobody will be able to understand it. Is that, uh, possible? [Laughs]

Yeah, that’s fine.

Incriminating? Like, you know what I’m sayin’? Crazy bad to hear about. You know what I’m saying?

I’m not sure I do know what you’re saying.

Alright.

I mean, we don’t even have to post this interview.

Oh, no. I would like– it would be cool. [Laughs]

The thing about the way that I do interviews now, is that I don’t turn them into articles. I just transcribe them as they are and post the words.

Oh, really?

Yeah. That’s like, a new Vessel additive. I mean, in the future I’d also like to post the actual recording. Not this one because it’s on my phone, but in the future–

Okay. Can it start now? [Laughs]

Yeah.

Alright. Definitely.

Catch me up on your life in one sentence.

One sentence? [Long pause] One sentence.. I don’t know if that’s possible. [Shorter, long pause] How about: disappearing and reappearing, changing lives like clothes.

Sounds pretty possible to meee.

Okay.

So, that process of coming up with that sentence. What was going on up here? Were you just like, skimming, or what was going on?

Well, I wanted– I tried to view my, uh, my last four years as a whole and come up with a– compose a statement that would reflect that. That whole.

Yeah. And you turned it into a lyric.

Mm. Thank you.

Maybe.

Humility will be my downfall.

[Clears throat] Um..

Sorry.

Just clearing my throat. No worries.

Oh.

Uh, I still occasionally listen to ‘Safe, Steady, Slow’ and ‘Air in My Lungs’. How do you feel about the then and now of your music?

My cousin always used to tell me that a song was like a snapshot. And it reflected the place and time that you were, uh, in when you wrote or recorded it. I feel that way now, but it’s more like the people that I once was. It’s more like a living being than a snapshot. Is that okay?

It’s amazing. Yeah.

Okay.

Is this the cousin– remember when I last spoke to you in the interview, that one of your influences was this cousin of yours that was a musician?

Oh, yes.

This is that one? [Clears throat]

Yeah.

What kind of music does he do again?

Oh, well now he does instrumental noise music.

Yeah? Was it folk at first?

Uh, he did country.

Country? Okay.

I don’t know, I never figured out whether we change, uh, knowing the changes that are taking place in each other’s lives or whether it’s just kind of a subconscious thing, because we’re bound together by blood. And possibly Astrology. Alright, definitely Astrology.

Scratch that.

[Laughs]

Tell me… about the last great idea you had.

Oh, man. I don’t know if I can put that into, uh, something linear. I mean I’ve been like, they’re all kind of just in there.

Mmhmm.

This motion. [Laughs] There’s like, uh, meandering? That’s not it. That’s a new word that my friend introduced me to that I never quite understood until recently. Um…

It makes sense. The you in the past maybe didn’t have a use for it, but the you now does.

Ohh! It’s like, alright, so they’re all in there. But I don’t really know when exactly– (My phone cut off a little chunk in the center of the interview)

Is it still recording? It is. I just wanted to make sure.

Oh. Okay, good.

Sorry.

I just really firmly found a conclusion that.. what were we talking about?

I don’t know, but if you were an animal, you’d be a giraffe. That’s what I think.

Thanks.

You’re welcome.

What were we talking about, though?

I don’t remember. Something about– we were talking about what it feels like when an idea pops into your head, and–

Vomiting.

Yeah. You vomit up a puzzle…

Oh, such a gross and ungraceful thing–

And then–

–to relate an idea to.

Then you mop it up.

Ohh, my gosh. I would never wanna mop it up. Just let it ferment and be the fertilizer for the next round of ideas. But um.. Oh, man. I wish I could remember what it is that I was trying to say.

Tell me about what it takes to be working on your music. What it takes to be doing your thing.

Right now? Or…

However you want to answer it.

When I have a support squad– like, when I have somebody supporting me– some kind of somebody– it’s uh, it’s beautiful. I spend a lot of time working on it. And a lot of time making the ideas come to life. But right now, I don’t have a support squad. So, it’s kind of just like, high-highs and low-lows. Stumbling onto.. moments of perfection. And having to shrug through moments of complete and utter dissonance. You know? Just like, horrible, horrible moments in the creative process. Just like, nothing clicks, nothing clicks, and then one day for four hours, I’ll be in the perfect state of mind to make, like, one or two things fall into line.

[Pause]

[Laughs]

[Pause]

Is that okay?

Yeah. I’m just thinking about if I wanna ask anything about that.

Oh, okay.

It’s taking me a minute to.. sift through it. Hmm. your support squad. Do you mean– this, this can take on different forms?

Oh, yeah. Definitely. But, the most effective support squad is a single individual.

Yeah?

Yeah. For sure. Somebody who has figured out who you are. And is willing to place everything that they can beneath you to keep you somewhere.

Hmm. That person can play many roles.

Or run after you. And be faster than you.

Yeah.

Or pierce you with something more powerful than your defenses are. That– ugh…

[Laughs] [Clears throat] Um, will you tell me about your tour?

Yes.

I mean– are you going with a band and..? What’s going on with that?

Um, well, I got a band together because I was on tour with this band called Drake and Sofia. They asked me last minute to, uh, well.. [Laughs] Let me start at the very beginning.

Okay.

So, I feel like… all that is necessary in order to go where you want to go in the– in the life that you’re– that you’ve been granted is just a little bit of a, like asking a question. Asking for it. You have to ask the right for it. You have to– you have to– uh, compose the right request. You know? You have to, you have to ask the bassist if he’d be willing to book a tour for me. So, long story short, we spent the whole tour together and it was a magnificent experience. And I grew very close to the drummer and bassist of that band. By the end of the tour they decided they should help me out. We got that band together and played a show. I adopted another band member from a band called Friends of Giants, and, and… That’s it. That’s it. Uh, the bassist became my manager. Aaand.. he said, ‘We’re sending you out in March.’ And I said, ‘Okay.’ And then I lost a lot of things, and then I said, ‘Okay, so now I have nothing else that I have, I’m just– gonna just do this. And I’m gonna do this for a long time. And I’m gonna keep doing this until I can’t do this anymore.’ And that’s the reason why.. And what’s the reason to go on tour? Oh, to make people feel better. That’s the reason. I mean, you’re not gonna make money. But, I mean, music always made me feel better. And I wanna make people feel better. For sure. Rolling a die. See what comes up. The odds are in your favor.

Yeah? 11.

Out of 12.

I never thought of it that way. That’s high.

What do you mean?

11 out of 12, that’s good. As opposed to 2 out of 12.

I knew this kid that had a dice in his pocket and he would roll it every time he made a life decision. And I was like, ‘Can I actually adopt that?’ I carry I dice with me so I can make decisions.

Oh.

Not really. Only for stupid things. I just keep it as a good luck charm. I don’t really do that. I’m a bit indecisive at times. So, I use it on things I can’t decide between. Not important things, but..

Sometimes, you know, if you’re asking someone, ‘Okay, ‘should I do ‘this’ or ‘that’,’ and someone says you should do ‘x’– once they say what they think you should do, you’ll either agree, or it’ll be revealed what you really want. So, that’s kind of helpful.

Yeah. When the dice is in the air, you usually know what you want.

Yeah. Hmm. It kinda forces you to come out with it.

Absolutely. Making a decision to make a decision.

What’s a short-term goal you’ve got? Um, it can be about your tour, it can be about your music, it can be about anything.

[Pause] Stop wanting to do bad things.

Huh.

I just want to be a good person. I mean, I don’t do anything really bad. I mean, I don’t do anything bad. Except for smoke cigarettes.

Yup. Why does–

I just–

Why does that haunt you?

I just wanna be good. I don’t want to do anything that bad. I don’t wanna think about doing anything bad. That’s a short-term goal I have, is to just be like, a lot more selfless and giving. And remember that I make music for other people and not for myself. So, that thing that person said to you, that’s okay. But that’s not the way that I see it, I just wanna make people happy. I mean, that’s a whole lot more important to me than some selfish self-gratification.

That sounds like a long-term goal, John. That sounds like an everyday thing.

Okay. So, a short term goal.

[Laughs]

Uhh… [Laughs] Oh, man. Have a really good time. [Laughs] On the tour.

Yeah?

That’s a short-term goal. Um, how about.. meet new people? No.. I don’t know. Record a new album.

Another one?

Yeah. Hell yeah. Oh, man. I’ve got it all in my mind what I wanna do. I just don’t know whether I want to go into a studio or just do it by myself again. I’ve been having a lot of trouble getting stuff down. I’d really like to do another album. Okay, another short-term goal. Let’s see. Should I get a lip ring? I’ve been thinking about it. Maybe I asked you that last time.

I don’t think so.

It would be cool. I mean, the only reason is to say, ‘I was young and I did that one time.’ Not really, though. There are other reasons.

Yeah?

Things in un-visually appealing packages will always appeal. I don’t know about that either. I’m getting into an ‘I don’t know’ moment. I don’t know a lot of things at the moment.*

*The interview is not supposed to end here. The Blackberry Storm I recorded it on cuts off the last chunk of my interviews. I forgot it did that. Figures. The AT&T employee that helped me switch said when he worked for Verizon, that phone had an 80% return rate when it came out. Anyways.. it should end with John talking about not being sure where you’re headed. But you see a mountain. And you should walk up the mountain because you might find what you’re looking for along the way– or the mountain will have a great view at the top and you’ll be able to see where you should be headed. It’s scary heading towards something you’re not sure about, “but it sure beats camping out in the fields your whole life.”

John’s Current Tour:

Tues. March 27 – Neutral Grounds – New Orleans, LA
Wed. March 28 – The Mink – Houston, TX
Thurs. March 29 – Boneshakers – San Antonio, TX
Fri. March 30 – 2826 Arnetic – Dallas, TX
Sat. March 31 – Lolas – Ft. Worth, TX
Wed. April 11 – Crystal Pistol Saloon – Tulsa, OK
Thurs. April 12 – Blackthorn Pizza and Pub – Joplin, MO
Fri. April 13 – Maxine’s – Hot Springs National Park, AR
Sat. April 21 – Preservation Pub – Knoxville, TN

John Gold Part One

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